So I had my last band concert today, and I was suppose to hang out with my boy after school then before my concert and after my concert.
BUT. His bestest boyfriend, whos in jail, his dad is really sick and I guess is dying? Well Robert had to go get his friend, I understand that. But then he like stayed and I think is staying all night? I thought maybe he would like give the family some like alone time. You know, thats what I’d do even if it was my best friend in the world Temple. Id give her space to have a moment with her dad, and then after, I’d be there. But so he skipped my concert, turned his phone off probably because he doesn’t even want to talk to me and we didn’t get to hang out at all and I prolly wont see him til sunday maybe and I haven’t seen him since monday even though he could have come over yesterday but didn’t want to or something. I just really needed to be with him tonight, I guess I understand that his friend needed him, but I thought he should give them space.. I just I needed him tonight..
I think my boyfriend just doesn’t like being around me. Like I’m not even kidding. I’m pretty sure he hates hanging out with me. I don’t think he has ever been super pumped about hanging out with me since like the beginning of our relationship.
Oh. And. I’m pretty sure he admitted yesterday that if we could never have sex again, he wouldn’t date me anymore. Like I’m seriously embarrassed to say that, like I have told my best friends because I know what they will say and I don’t want to break up with him, I love him. He just doesn’t love me I guess…
I just feel like super depressed right now.. Like I don’t even know… Whatever I guess.